Influence: The Emotional Intelligence Competency We All Want More Of

One of five relationship management competencies in Daniel Goleman’s framework of Emotional Intelligence, Influence is the ability to have a positive impact on others in order to gain their support.

Done well, Influence draws on a variety of other EI competencies: the Self-Awareness and Emotional Balance to manage ourselves; the Empathy to understand the perspectives, feelings and viewpoints of others; the Adaptability to change course; the Positive Outlook to connect and inspire; and the Organizational Awareness to know who in the system can help us forward our goal.

It’s been said a million times: leadership is the art of getting things done through other people.

Influence is how we do that.

Organizational Awareness: Systems Thinking With Emotional Intelligence

The biggest issues of our time are calling all of us to develop a whole-systems understanding of the world—to acknowledge that the whole is more than the sum of its parts—and to listen, deeply and consistently, with all of our senses, in order to strategize a more sustainable and equitable future. One of two social awareness competencies in his framework of Emotional Intelligence, Organizational Awareness refers to how well we know and understand the systems we operate in. Organizational Awareness is about seeing the invisible web of connections—between individuals, teams, and between the system and the wider world. An understanding of relationships, hierarchies, and decision-making processes position you to better communicate and get things done.

Emotional IntelligenceElizabeth SolomonFebruary 1, 2023emotional intelligence, leadership, competency

Empathy: A Blessing and a Cure

In Daniel Goleman’s framework of Emotional Intelligence, empathy refers to our ability to sense and feel the thoughts, emotions, and perspectives of others. Patients with empathic physicians are more likely to follow their medical regimes; kids surrounded by empathetic adults are less likely to have behavioral issues; and people who demonstrate high amounts of empathy are less likely to feel depressed. In the workplace, the benefits of empathy are many.

Emotional IntelligenceElizabeth SolomonJanuary 4, 2023emotional intelligence, leadership, competency

Achieve: The Emotional Intelligence To Make Things Happen

In Daniel Goleman’s framework of Emotional Intelligence, Achievement Orientation is the drive to succeed at our goals. One of four self-management competencies, it refers to the ability to set meaningful and important milestones for ourselves— to take risks, embrace challenges and stay consistent in our efforts to do what is important to us.

Emotional IntelligenceElizabeth SolomonDecember 1, 2022emotional intelligence, leadership, competency

Positive Outlook: Optimism is a Choice

According to research, 86% of U.S. adults say the coronavirus will lead to important lessons for humanity. These range from practical lessons, such as hand-washing; to personal lessons, such as grasping the importance of our family and loved ones; to societal lessons, like the value of social-emotional learning or universal health care.

This ability—to see the good in an inherently challenging situation —is what Daniel Goleman calls Positive Outlook. One of four self-management competencies in Goleman’s framework of emotional intelligence, Positive Outlook refers to our ability to see the best in people, situations, and events.

Read more about this critical competency.

Emotional IntelligenceElizabeth SolomonOctober 6, 2022emotional intelligence, competency, leadership

Adaptability: Cultivating Resilience in and Beyond 2020

Being adaptable doesn’t mean abandoning your boundaries, denying your feelings, and contorting yourself to meet the moment. It means staying clear-headed, emotionally present, and curious, even when your best-laid plans are interrupted. It means orienting around your purpose and your values to chart a new path ahead.

Self - Regulate: Emotional Self-Control and The Importance of Staying Balanced

Learning to manage our responses to strong emotions is a natural part of being human. In Daniel Goleman’s framework of Emotional Intelligence, the goal is to ‘Self-Regulate’ and to exhibit ‘Emotional Self-Control’. One of four self-management competencies, it refers to our ability to stay calm, clear, and collected in the face of distressing emotions and disruptive impulses.

In plain words: It means we keep our $%^& together no matter how intense our feelings.

Self-Awareness: It All Begins Here

As an emotional intelligence coach, I often refer to self-awareness as home base. No matter which EI competency we want to work on, we always begin here.

Afterall...

How can we manage our triggers unless we know what they are?
How can we understand our environment without first understanding the lens through which we view it?
How can we embrace change without facing and releasing what we are afraid of leaving behind?

The list of questions pointing back to self-awareness is endless.

Coaching With the Essentials of Emotional Intelligence

When my client, a European physician, got diagnosed with COVID-19, we were almost eight weeks into a 12-week engagement. Within hours of my client’s diagnosis, she was relegated to a 120-square foot room in her own apartment. For the next two weeks her husband would drop meals at the door, taking care of her basic needs until she was allowed to re-occupy their apartment. Our coaching went from the backdrop of her office to the backdrop of a small room she had used mostly for storage, nothing but a twin bed and some brown shelves with books she had read for medical school.

Emotional IntelligenceElizabeth SolomonFebruary 10, 2022emotional intelligence, leadership

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